October 26th

Some company has already created some vitamin pill for faster hair growth!!! “Hair Formula 37″ my arse!!! Having done my own investigation into their research, I discovered some startling results!!!

The way they performed the experiment was by selecting 100 people & 100 different vitamin pills from superdrug. They removed all the labels and simply labeled the bottles from 1 to 100. They took pictures of all the people & gave them one set of drugs & told them to monitor any changes in their hair growth. Of course, each individual was randomly selected from a broad range of different different backgrounds. But some idiot allowed Picard to get in there!

Now Picard, as we all know, is captain of the Starship Enterprise and flies in space quiet regularly and so it’s no surprise to find that the cosmic rays he is submitted to on a daily basis reacted quite badly to set of pills number 37. It took only 3 weeks for a his hair growth rate to increase by 100x (which considering his rate of hair growth before isn’t much). So when he went back after 3 months to the lab. Ths scientists were amazed because he now looked like this:

Of course as any one who’s done science should know, never trust the results from one experiment. So they went on got the next baldest thing… Ripley from Alien 3!!!

Once again, Ripley is another space cadet who comes in contact with a lot of Aliens. So it’s no surprise of course to find that she too was affected by the pill 37 and cosmic rays in the same way!!!

After this experiment the scientists were over the moon & decided they were gonna market the pill straight away! So hence “Hair Formula 37″!!!

As for news on the man who can make a center parting with the muscles in his hair, we have found no news yet, but I’ll be keeping an eye out!!!